All humans encounter anxiety in their lives. Anxiety is a common reaction, such as nervousness before an exam, worrying about a child’s well-being in school, discomfort regarding a radical new life change, or periods of restlessness.
However, anxiety can also be so disabling that it causes the body to tremble violently or collapse completely in a panic attack. Or it can cause us to freeze and isolate ourselves from the world around us. In such cases, anxiety becomes pathological – and deeply inhibiting to our quality of life. (2)
Anxiety thus covers a huge spectrum – and no one can claim to be completely free from it. Fortunately, one can work with anxiety to reduce its impact. This will improve the quality of life for any individual. More on that later.
Let’s start by looking at how anxiety is experienced.
There are physical, cognitive, and behavioral symptoms of anxiety. Here are some of them:
Typically, one will only experience some of these symptoms, and which symptoms are experienced depends on the type and degree of anxiety (2).
See below for a description of the most common types of anxiety. It is important to note that the different types of anxiety can occur in all people to a greater or lesser extent. There is always a spectrum. (2)
In the psychodynamic approach, fear and anxiety are distinguished, although they may feel the same and have common symptoms.
Fear arises when something in the world is threatening to us. It can be a threatening animal, a violent person, or a dangerous object coming towards us. The purpose of fear is to make us react to the danger, either by moving away from it or confronting it. Our whole body is put on high alert. Blood is directed to the limbs, and our brain is filled with neurotransmitters that make us think faster and clearer. In other words, fear is very appropriate for our survival.
Anxiety, on the other hand, has no external threat but is created from within. Our body reacts as if there were a danger, but there is none. The danger only exists in the anxious person’s mind, which is not healthy. This mind does not perceive the world as it is, but rather in a distorted, exaggerated, dangerous, and negative version.
While fear is appropriate and real, anxiety is inappropriate and imaginary, and should, therefore, be unlearned by the body.(2) But where does this anxiety come from?
Anxiety is usually established in our childhood. Here we inevitably experience episodes of neglect or lacking understanding and empathy. We might get a sense of being ignored or a sense that our feelings are wrong or inappropriate. The degree and number of these more or less traumatic episodes will, of course, vary greatly from child to child, but no one can say they are entirely free of them.(1)
In these episodes, where our feelings are not acknowledged, we lack love, care, and empathy and instead experience a distance from our primary caregivers. Such an experience forms the basis for anxiety because the vital relationship with our caregivers is perceived as being under pressure. As a little child, that relationship must not break under any circumstances. It would be life-threatening!
In other words, we shut down a feeling because it was previously dangerous or fearful to allow it.
The more often such episodes occur, the more the child will lose trust in the world and in themselves, become convinced that they are not good enough, and have encoded in their body that emotions are dangerous, unacceptable, or insignificant. The child will, therefore, develop anxiety towards their feelings – a condition that can haunt the child for the rest of their life (and also lead to depression, depending on the child’s defense mechanisms).
The above mechanism also means that there are always emotions – typically anger, sadness, or disgust – under the anxiety. When we later encounter situations or people who activate a specific feeling that was forbidden, unacceptable, or insignificant in our childhood, our body will automatically go into high alert – anxiety takes over. The greater the anxiety, the greater the underlying force in the form of repressed and withheld emotions.
Recognizing the child’s feelings, therefore, becomes the parents’ most important role in preventing future anxiety in the child. By recognition, we do not mean accepting everything the child does and wants, but that the child is seen and heard and gets a sense of understanding, acceptance, and empathy – rather than being ignored or scolded.
As a result of the parents’ reactions to the child’s emotional life, they are the most significant shapers of the child’s ability to be with their emotions. And the better this ability is, the less anxiety the child will experience as it grows older. The more emotions are allowed, the less room there will be for anxiety.
Based on the above, we can now define anxiety as:
An unpleasant, tense sensation activated by feelings of sadness, anger, or disgust, which the body has erroneously encoded as dangerous through trauma and childhood neglect.
When we experience anxiety – whether it is small or large – we typically activate defense mechanisms. This usually happens on an unconscious level.
Defense mechanisms are the body’s way of escaping or reducing discomfort. They may involve denial, repression, or avoidance of unpleasant situations. A detailed list of defense mechanisms can be found at the bottom of the page.
Let’s take an example of how defense mechanisms work. A person experiences discomfort because a colleague has taken all the credit for their work. The feeling that arises in the person is anger – an unfair incident has occurred. However, the person has been taught since childhood that anger is a dangerous and inappropriate feeling, and so he does not stand up against the colleague. He is conflict-avoidant and does not speak up for himself. Instead, he may use one or more of the following defense mechanisms:
The latter defense mechanism is also characteristic of people with depression. All of these defense mechanisms distort the truth that he is angry with the colleague. They prevent him from feeling the anger that he needs to get out of discomfort and confront the colleague. The defense mechanisms have become a hindrance for him and should therefore be made aware of and unlearned.
Like anxiety, most of our defense mechanisms are shaped in childhood. Many of the defenses are copies of our parents’ defenses. We copy our parents’ ways of suppressing emotions because we think it is the most appropriate reaction. For example, children whose parents are conflict-avoidant (suppressing anger) often also learn this pattern. By doing the same as our parents, we avoid disappointing them or making them sad or angry. Our defenses serve such an accommodating purpose when we are small, but many of them become problematic for us as adults because they inhibit our life expression as seen in the example above.
It should be noted that not all defense mechanisms are inappropriate. In order to participate in social contexts, have situational awareness, and exercise perseverance and discipline, it is necessary that we sometimes put aside our own needs for the benefit of others. For example, it may be appropriate to suppress the joy of having just won the lottery if you are with people who have just lost someone they care about. In this way, the defenses help shape our ethics, morality, and decency. The problems arise when the defenses control our lives and consistently prevent access to our emotional compass.
When we turn to dependencies, this is also a defense mechanism. Dependencies often shift focus from the body to the mind or from inner sensations to external stimuli.
You can be dependent on computer games, mobile phones, food, TV, work, money, exercise, sex, isolation, alcohol, drugs, or even on one’s own thoughts. Especially people who are also depressed experience rumination, i.e. being addicted to their thoughts, which run in the same pattern over and over again.
Dependencies temporarily relieve our anxiety because they shift our focus from the anxiety-provoking to the safe and familiar. In dependencies, many experience the security, care, or comfort they lacked as children. It is the same brain signals that are released.
Dependencies are difficult to get rid of. When we experience a strong dependency that is not nourished for a while, we become dissatisfied and shift our focus from the present to the future – a future where we can nourish the dependency again and feel the security and well-being again… for a while.
The satisfaction of dependency seems to be the only way out of our misery, which is why we resort to it again and again. We continue to wade around in this vicious circle of dependency, knowing that it closes off our contact with our emotions – and thus with our physical and mental well-being.
Defense mechanisms, dependencies, and most medications only function as painkillers. They are numbing, but do not remove anxiety – only some of its symptoms – temporarily. Anxiety will return if we do not get to the root of the problem. To get to the root of the problem, we need to:
All three of the above points can be addressed through therapy – especially psychodynamic therapy with its focus on anxiety, defense mechanisms, and emotions and unconscious patterns.
Dependency as a Defense Mechanism
When we turn to dependencies, this is also a defense mechanism. Dependencies often shift focus from the body to the mind or from inner sensations to external stimuli.
There may be a dependency on computer games, mobile phones, food, TV, work, money, exercise, sex, isolation, alcohol, drugs, or even on one’s own thoughts. Especially people who are also depressed experience rumination, i.e. being addicted to their thoughts, which run in the same pattern over and over again.
Dependencies temporarily relieve our anxiety because they shift our focus from the anxiety-provoking to the safe and familiar. In dependencies, many experience the security, care, or comfort they lacked as children. It is the same signals in the brain that are released.
Dependencies are difficult to get rid of. When we experience a strong dependency that is not nourished for a while, we become dissatisfied and shift our focus from the present to the future – a future where we can nourish the dependency again and feel the security and well-being again… for a while.
The satisfaction of dependency seems to be the only way out of our misery, which is why we resort to it again and again. We continue to wade around in this vicious circle of dependency, knowing that it closes off our contact with our emotions – and thus with our physical and mental well-being.
Treatment of Anxiety – Therapy and Exposure
Defense mechanisms, dependencies, and most medications only function as temporary painkillers. They are numbing, but do not remove anxiety – only some of its symptoms. Anxiety will return if we do not get to the root of the problem. To get to the root of the problem, we need to:
All three of the above points can be addressed through therapy – especially psychodynamic therapy with its focus on anxiety, defense mechanisms, and emotions and unconscious patterns. Anxiety’s origin, its accompanying defense mechanisms and underlying emotions, and the various ways in which anxiety can be confronted through concrete actions in the real world are explored in therapy.
In fact, many therapists regard anxiety as a friendly creature that shows us where to direct our attention so that we can become free and live a life in accordance with who we really are. No anxiety – no development.
As Kierkegaard writes: “Anxiety gives wings to dreams and longings.”
And as Jack Canfield writes: “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
The three points mentioned above, which are necessary to dissolve anxiety, can also be addressed by focusing on our dreams.
This means that we develop our ability to both remember our dreams and understand them.
The function of dreams is actually to heal our psyche. Therefore, they almost always relate to the three points mentioned above. They relate to unconscious, repressed childhood traumas, they give us messages about what we really feel about a situation, tell us what we are actually afraid of, and what defenses we use to avoid feeling anxiety and emotions. Finally, they give us ideas for how we can challenge our anxiety through concrete actions. Almost always, dreams revolve around these themes, in spite of their strange symbols, illogical logic, and twisted universes.
Dreams come with such healing messages to us. They try to wake us up, so that we can become conscious of the dynamics between our emotions, anxiety, and defenses. These dynamics are often unconscious to us, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Our dreams help us to become wiser about ourselves, more conscious and enlightened, and free of anxiety.
Do you dare not to listen to them?
Finally, it should be mentioned that several studies, including those from MAPS in California and King’s College in London, have shown that psychedelic drugs such as LSD and magic mushrooms can have similar effects as dreams in reducing anxiety. (3)
Under the right circumstances, with the right dose, and with the right support people, such psychedelic experiences can open up messages from our unconscious, just as dreams do. Both can show us our defenses, restore contact with our deepest feelings, and reduce anxiety levels in the long term – not just dulling anxiety symptoms. Read more here.
Citations
(1) Thanel, B 2019: “Begrebet angst – in Intensiv Dynamisk Korttidsterapi (ISTDP). Om signalangst og det ubevidste”, Dansk Psykologforening, https://www.dp.dk/p-psykologernes-fagmagasin/fagartikler-psykologi-viden/begrebet-angst-i-intensiv-dynamisk-korttidsterapi-istdp-om-signalangst-og-det-ubevidste/
(2) Psykiatrifonden 2016: “Fremme af Unges mentale sundhed”, Psykiatrifonden
(3) Maps 2019: LSD-Assisted Psychotherapy, https://maps.org/research/psilo-lsd/
